Penning lyrics continues to confound, and in the course of nearly three weeks, I have made no progress whatsoever. It seemed fitting to take a break from substantial songwriting attempts today, and in their stead present a few stanzas that I hope are good for a chuckle.
Without further explanation, please enjoy
The Ultimate Country Song:
Verse 1
Broke down on the side of the road
In the middle of a thunderstorm
Called my girlfriend to say I'd be a little late
She said, Don't bother coming home
CHORUS
Cause I don't love you, you lazy son of a gun
You're a selfish man with a pickup truck
And you barely scrape together a paycheck
Take your smelly dog and your foolish pride
Lay 'em down next to you on your uncle's couch
Cause that's where you're gonna sleep tonight
I really don't love you
Verse 2
That's okay sweetie pie, I said
As I softly started to cry
Maybe I'll call your sister
She's prettier by a mile
CHORUS
Cause I don't love you, you hideous beast
You're a mean old wench with a crooked nose
And you spend all the cash in my bank account
Take your bonbons and potato chips
Fill up that big old gut of yours
I hope it brings you happiness
I really don't love you
Bridge
Later on that night my doggie died
And my uncle had a heart attack
I drove the pickup truck into the lake
And I'm never going back
CHORUS
(Much softer, with guitar gently strumming)
Cause I don't love you, you terrible old town
Wasted too much life growing up around here
I can't believe I hung around
Take your sandlot and your ice cream store
With any luck an asteroid will fall out of the sky...
(small pause)
I really don't love you
Glad to get that out of my system! The actual explorations continue tomorrow.
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